Is fear of failure & perfectionism holding you back from feeling good in your body?

I work with a lot of very high-achieving women who are always used to doing well and getting the A. They have high-stakes jobs which mean that getting the B isn't even really an option... 

And when it comes to dieting, this can show up as quitting when something hasn't gone perfectly. 

They've been "good" all week and then Friday happens and the wheels come off. 

They give themselves such a hard time that the whole weekend then becomes "f*ck it, I'll be good again on Monday (or next month)."

The cycle keeps happening because they haven't addressed two things:

1. what happened on Friday that meant they went off-piste -- really trying to understand the thoughts, feelings and habits that were present and why

2. their capacity to make mistakes without making it mean they're failures and must either give up OR restrict/diet even more in order to achieve the results they want. 

Changing your eating and drinking habits is full of mistakes. The KEY is to learn from them and not use those mistakes as evidence against yourself. 

This is what I did well when I was losing my weight and changing my habits.

When things didn't go perfectly, I was (and am) WILLING to learn. 

I looked at what I was possibly thinking, feeling, or wanting in those moments and asked myself how things could be different. 

• What could I have thought in the moment about my urge(s) that would have helped me?

• What feeling was I trying to escape or create? How else could I have done that?

• In what ways did my reaction help me and what would I like to change my reaction to in an ideal world? 

• How can I take this learning and make it into an actionable strategy for next time I'm in a similar situation or emotion?
   

And when you ask curious questions like that, you just get back to things without shame, frustration and fear holding you up. 

You don't wait until Monday. You don't begin "again". 

You just CARRY ON the next day armed with these beautiful learnings that will help you better understand the root cause of your eating and drinking habits. Without that understanding, you cannot change. 

The key to permanent weight loss and habit change is to STOP STOPPING when things don't go perfectly.

Because the human brain isn't a degree or dissertation you can "get right" -- it's a living, breathing, unique organ that works just like a muscle. 

It needs constant teaching and reinforcement to get stronger, and it needs your belief that perfection is the enemy of progress.

If you don't learn from when things have gone off-piste, you won't change your habits. There's no other way I can put it. 

The question is whether you're willing to change the narrative from one of judgement to one of curiosity and compassion. You made a mistake, big deal. Learn and move on.

Keep rinsing and repeating that process, trusting that your brain will eventually learn a new way of doing things that actually serves your needs and goals. 

And believe in your capacity to handle uncomfortable emotions and things not meeting your expectations.

It's just a feeling and you can withstand it SO THAT you change the habits that are keeping you from feeling your best. 

And just imagine how acting this way and believing these things could change your entire life.