Why weight loss drugs can feel so triggering

I’ve been thinking about weight loss drugs and the changes they’re creating in our world, both externally in the culture and internally in our psyche.

One of the biggest obstacles women (and not necessarily those women taking them) face is the internal judgement they cause.

This judgement isn’t felt when someone who is categorically overweight or obese is prescribed these medications. You can absolutely get your head round that, and these medications can be highly-effective, life-saving treatments.

But you may feel it when you meet someone taking them who isn’t particularly overweight, or when you interact with people who have a healthy BMI but who have gained access to the drugs through various loopholes and exemptions.

When you see these people and notice how they’ve lost weight or they tell you they’re on these drugs, it’s difficult not to immediately start judging your own body.

“They must think I’m fat if they want to lose weight”, and “what must they think of my body if they have turned to drugs to lose weight?”.

It creates an inner glare, as if we’ve turned the spotlight harshly on ourselves.

We’ve been walking around feeling OK (maybe even good) about our bodies - regardless of weight - and then our not-overweight-friend starts these drugs.

We’re full of self-doubt, criticism and confusion.

But listening to your inner critic holds you back from feeling confident and content in your body.

When you sit in judgement, you don’t try to understand things from the other person’s point of view. You can’t be thoughtful. You shut off and stop being curious. You feel shame, and maybe even start numbing the discomfort of how you feel by eating or drinking, thinking it’s all pointless anyway!

When you believe all your critical thoughts, you don’t stop to question their validity and truth. You can’t slow down and pause. You take it as fact that your body isn’t good enough, that you’re not good enough, and start proving those thoughts true with unsupportive action.

When you’re comparing yourself to others, you forget that we’re all unique humans with unique bodies and lived experiences, and that of course we’re all going to do things differently.

You start thinking we should all do the same, look the same, eat the same.

You forget your glorious individuality, and see difference as a problem to fix.

When you think you should lose weight just because Mary-Sue weighs the same as you and is medicating, you stop treating your body with kindness. You go into force and diet mentality.

You start overriding your body and physical cues (like hunger and fullness) through dieting, trying to control your eating in an unhelpful way so that you can lose some weight too. But deep down you know it won’t work and you feel even more hopeless.

Or maybe you explore these drugs for yourself (even if they don’t sit quite right with you for whatever reason) and spend hours doom-scrolling weight-loss forums, just getting more confused and feeling even worse about yourself.

Ultimately, believing your inner critic takes you out of your body and away from what really matters to feel good in it.

In that moment, you’re a long way from the Love How You Eat framework.

The inner critic arrests compassion, stopping it in its tracks.

Yet compassion is what we really need when confronted by uncomfortable emotions about these drugs.

Not just for ourselves and our bodies which are trying so hard every day to simply survive in this world. But for our friends, our neighbours, the mums at the school gate, all those who have made the decision to do this.

If we were able to show more compassion, we would start asking more questions. Not just of ourselves and why we find it all confronting and unnerving. But of our friends, who might have been suffering with more internal chatter about their bodies and food than you could even imagine. But just never told you.

Weight is not the only marker of an unhealthy relationship with food. Let’s show compassion to those who want to take this route and CHOOSE not to make it mean anything negative about ourselves.

This takes work. It takes commitment, constant reminding and reaffirming.

But what would trusting your gut and believing in your enoughness prove to you? Would it create more inner confidence? Would it drive more quality action in your personal eating and drinking habits? Would it lead to more connection and fulfilment?

You can’t live anyone’s life but your own, so don’t let what someone else is doing - or not doing - dictate how you feel.

We are all enough. We are all worthy. And we are all deserving of feeling our best, irrespective of how we choose to get there.

Understanding and setting aside your judgement will most likely lead to your greatest peace and contentment.

What would change if compassion, not comparison, was your first response?